Jenifer's Blog

I’d say I have gone through a lot of changes this year. The start of this new decade has been rough but despite that I feel like I’ve grown in a various aspects.

Personally, I hate change. I hate change because I fear the unknown. I feel secure when I know what’s happening and what is going to happen. But I acknowledge the fact that change is inevitable, that there is no way of going around it. This year has tested me the most. With constant changes throughout year, I have become sort of comfortable with the idea of changes. I was use to a busy lifestyle. I worked 35 hours a week, attended school for 15 hours a week, had no sort of social life, and had no time for hobbies/activities. I look back at it now and im kind of upset of how I use to live my life. From one perspective, it sounds great because of the dedication I put into my education and how hard of a worker I was. But from another perspective it sounds mad. I dedicated so much time to my education and work that I was losing friendships. I was stressed constantly because I had no sort of emotional output. Yeah sure, I had my very close friends and blog to rant to, but I was missing the enjoyment in the things I did.

The obvious change that was brought to me was the pandemic, it literally made my everyday life vanish into thin air. At first, I felt clueless. I didn’t know what to do with so much time on my hands, I wasn’t use to being able to relax. My job was put on a hold because the restaurant went to strictly take-out for 3 months, I didn’t start working again until the middle of April. So for about a month and a half I had all the time in the world. The time allowed me to focus on school and to give it my all, but it made me realize a few things.

I started to question myself if I really enjoyed what I was doing in life. Did I actually like my job? Did I really want to study public relations? Did I like how I was living? I pondered on these questions and found my answers. In reality, I didn’t like my job. What I did like was my coworkers and how we got along. What I also liked was how fast I got promoted at that job. I didn’t like having to clean up for others, or having to stay long after my shift because people would decide to dine in last minute. I didn’t like how some guests were rude and showed no human decency towards me or having to work for tips. It was mentally draining working there. But to be honest, I do miss the friendly interactions I had some days with guests and the lessons that were given to me. All in all, I realized it was time for me to go somewhere else. I applied to the most random places, just to get away from there. I was fortunate enough to be offered a position despite my lack of experience that they preferred. While it was just a restaurant job, I am still grateful for all that I learned there. As for my major, I started comparing myself to others. I didn’t notice that the majority of the people I knew were studying something in the STEM field. I started to compare myself and was making my career choice feel inadequate for me. But with time, I brought myself back to my senses and decided that Public Relations is something I want to do. I enjoy writing, photographing and organizing things, such as events and social media. But for my lifestyle, I didn’t like how I was living.

Because I was so busy, I missed out on the things I wanted to do. I would sacrifice my happiness to please others, I wouldn’t consider my own feelings when doing stuff. There were so many things I wanted to try out and many events I wanted to go to, but my schedule would never let me. I regret not doing many things right now because who knows when we’ll be able to do things “normally” again. During that time, I didn’t hang out with my friends as much as I wanted to. I would try but it just wouldn’t fit in my schedule. I know my friends got tired of asking, causing them to stop trying. But now, I make time for my friends. Maybe not as often as I would like, but a lot better than what it was before.

With the change to my schedule, I had taken some time to explore into hobbies. I tried to do gaming, but it didn’t really catch my attention (well to be fair, it was the switch I tried lol.) I had gotten into cooking and baking again, but didn’t enjoy the cleaning part. I tried my hand at art, but I didn’t have enough creativity to keep going. I started exercising, and I enjoyed the feeling that came with it. I would mainly exercise at home by doing cardio and extremely light weight exercises, we’re talking about 5lbs here lol. But then I got invited to the gym. I was a bit iffy at first, because it had been a while since I had been physically active, but eventually I got over it and decided to go. I was intimidated by the machines, but soon grew to love them. As I went more often, I had build the confidence to use free weights and copy what others were doing, along with doing exercises suggested by my friends. Now I’m getting into weight lifting and trying to find ways to improve myself at the gym.

This year was pretty different from the rest, with weird encounters to hard lessons, I’d say I learned quite a few lessons.

Hey y’all! Just wanted to reflect on my first year of college on here. For starters, I go to the University of Houston. I decided to stay home and go to UH mostly because it was the university that offered the most money. Although I didn’t get to experience what it feels like to live alone, I learned other things that are now important to me. Some examples of what I learned is how to drive literally everywhere in a span of one month. I learned many home improvements skills. I learned how to earn my own money. I learned to express how I feel and to stop hiding it. I learned to have relationships with my family that I never had before. But I also learned other things like what it feels like to cry over a class. I learned that college is STUPID DUMB HARD and what it feels like to see a “C” on an assignment you had tried your best on. For my first semester, my advisor suggested to take on 15 hours of classes and I agreed because it couldn’t be that hard, right? Well I soon learned that time management was not my forte at this time. I tried to fit 30 hours of my work schedule into my 15 hour school schedule and I felt as if I was burning out. In high school I was in band 24/7 and still managed to balance out my school work, but for some reason it was harder to do that this time around. I stepped back and realized that I had too much on my plate and decided to knock down hours from both of my schedules. Now my school schedule is 14 hours and I work 25 hours, and I saw a drastic improvement on both schedules. While stress did show up at times, it wasn’t as constant as before. My grades improved as well. My first semester I ended it with mostly B’s and 2 A’s, but this semester I got to finish with all A’s. While I started to think that this semester was a breeze compared to my fall semester, Covid 19 had decided to join in and flip that around for me. Since I didn’t have face-to-face instruction like I was use to, I had to double the work that was assigned to me in order for me to actually understand it. It took many hours of replaying lectures and rereading chapters in order to grasp the concepts of each of my classes. At the same time, I had all the time of the world because I was laid off for about a month from my job because of the pandemic, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult to keep up with these classes. But for my first year, I learned a lot and I will be taking this knowledge and applying it to my sophomore year.

Go Coogs

I decided to take this large amount of time to venture into an uncharted territory, coffee. While the whole word is in quarantine, I can’t just simply walk to cougar grounds anymore or drive up to the popular coffee shops without feeling some sort of guilt. So I decided to become my own barista. It was very confusing at first. What the hell does dark roast mean? Despite how confuse I was, I decided to look into the different brown coffee beans that my family already had at home. I opened the first pouch and it attacked my nostrils with the strongest Java scent I have ever smelled. I immediately closed that scent bomb, but then this silver bag with yellow flowers had caught my attention. Cautiously, I opened the bag and felt a relief as the sweet scent of vanilla and coffee flowed into my nose. Pleased with the smell, I had picked what type of coffee I was going to attempt to make. I searched through our wood cabinets to find our small sleek looking coffee grinder. With a cold silver spoon, I had scooped some into the small grinder and began pulsing. Once it was done, the rich smell of vanilla and coffee had grown stronger, but not to the point it was irritable. I scooped the coffee grinds into a tall and slim glass contraption known as a French press and continued to pour the hot boiling water into it. After a few minutes had gone by, I served myself to some of the dark coffee into a stubby mug. I grabbed the milk out of the refrigerator and watched how the coffee and milk swirled together into one. I popped open the clear container where we keep the sweet sugar and shoveled my spoon into it to sprinkle it into my masterpiece. I twirled the spoon in the mug for a while and saw everything blend together so smoothly. I grab a dry napkin and laid the wet spoon on it to prevent the creation of a sticky puddle. I lift the mug close to my face, blow the steam away from my mouth and took a sip from the warm light brown liquid. And then it hits me, I don’t like coffee.

There’s times that I wish I gone to a university that’s not in Houston. But I feel like I did go, I would’ve missed out in so much growth that I’ve done here.

Senior year of high school, fall semester. I was so set on going to Texas A&M. Superrrrr stoked, I was already emailing clubs and organizations about what I could do to get a head start. It was set in stone for me that I was going to A&M. But things got rocky when January came, and I got my notification of financial aid decision. Turns out I’m n o t qualified for aid, and the only thing offered to me was loans. Initially, I freaked out because I wanted to go to school debt free, and that wasn’t going to happen if I went there.

Disappointed and heart broken, I cried to my mom and explained to her what had happened. She saw how much I wanted to go there and explained to me that if I really wanted to go there, they would do their best to find some way to financially support me. I started crying some more because I felt supported and I immediately went back on track with my planning. I had applied to so many scholarships like crazy to help financial wise. But despite being top ten of my class, an above average student, an okay saxophonist and my leadership roles in band, I got rejected by all of them. The time is already March and nothing was going for me. I was nervous because I did not want to put that financial burden on to my family. I felt like if I did my only option was to succeed because if I didn’t I would’ve wasted everyone’s time. I’m not saying I wasn’t going to try hard, but I’m saying I would’ve felt some sort of stress the whole time.

All while I was stressing about my major college decision, my dad was hospitalized. I don’t want to get too detailed into what happened because I believe that’s his story to tell, but just know I almost lost my dad that day. That experience had brought me into a realization; I’m not ready to leave home. I did not have the type of relationship I wished I had with my parents, siblings, friends or with myself. I didn’t feel complete leaving behind what wasn’t. Me leaving would’ve put so many things at risk. My dad is the breadwinner of our family. He didn’t work for months but we managed cause ya know, savings and stuff. But I know we wouldn’t have managed if I would’ve left. He’s come from a long way, and he’s barely starting to work again and he’s coming back stronger than ever. But enough of him, this isn’t his blog after all lol.

Anyways, I feel as if I learned a lot without having to leave my home. Some examples of what I learned is how to drive literally everywhere in a span of one month. I learned many home improvements skills. I learned how to earn my own money. I learned to express how I feel and to stop hiding it. I learned to have relationships with my family that I never had before. But I’ve also learned other things like what it feels like to cry over a class. I learned that college is STUPID DUMB HARD. I learned how to cry while driving because stress has finally caught up . I learned what it feels like to see a “C” on an assignment. I learned what it feels like to be alone.

But the greatest thing of all though is that I’m still learning about myself. With what I’m seeing so far, I’m loving me, and I’m not letting anyone slow me down.

Okay that’s enough for today, thank you for reading bb’s, ciao! – Jenifer

I got to be honest, my first day of school I was alone. I didn’t know nobody, and I don’t know what came to me that made me nervous to talk to people. I was so used to being the Jenifer that would make sassy comments back to people or the Jenifer that would laugh out loud no matter where she was at. I lost my personality for a little bit. Instead of being obnoxious like I’m normally am, I became an observer. I watched the way people acted, especially during lectures. I really don’t get it, why would you start packing your stuff in the middle of class? Why do people move around to get ready to leave before the professor finishes their instructions? Why are you so rude to not only the professors, but to your peers too?

I am majoring in Public Relations and I love it. I get so excited when family, friends or just random people ask me what it is because its something that I actually want to do. It’s something that I want to devote my time to as a career. But like I said, people are so rude. Once I finish explaining what my dream job is, most of the responses I hear are the “Oh, I expected more from you.” or “Oh, are you sure about that?” Yes, I am sure about and this is more for me. Don’t get me wrong, there are people that are supportive of my major, and I greatly appreciate it. But the thing that bothers me the most is just because I won’t be wearing a full suit or scrubs at my job doesn’t make it any less. And that’s for all majors. If you have and know what you’re going to do, go for it. If it’s your passion, go for it. My point is G o f o r i t.

Im a full time student and Im working as well. I can handle my schedule. I know what I can and cannot handle. When I tell people my schedule, they immediately think I can’t do it, but if I couldn’t I wouldn’t have put myself in that position lmao. I go to school everyday either two or three class a day, and on Fridays only one. (Yes I know that schedule sounds wack but it was the only thing that was available) and I work mostly four days out of the week as well, mostly the weekends. What I do since I really don’t have a day of rest is I plan out when to study and do homework. The days I get home early I study and do house chores, I do my homework as soon as I get home from work. And if I know I have a paper due soon I do it as soon as it is assigned. So far my layout has been working really well for me. Im chillin, not losing sleep and little to no stress. I may joke about it but its really stress from personal problems that I resolve very quickly.

But nonetheless, I am having a great time at UH. Let’s see what I’ll type for finals week lol. Thank you for reading (: Ciao! -Jenifer

I sometimes wonder how things would be like if things didn’t happen a certain way. I got to admit, I’m pretty stubborn. I personally see it as a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I get so determined to make things happen to the point that I won’t settle for anything less than what I think can be. The curse would be that I don’t let anything get in the way, I become selfish to have things my way to ensure it goes well. For instance, I don’t react well with teamwork when the team is made up of people I don’t want to work with. But I still do my part and sometimes even more when my stubbornness kicks in. But I always look back and analyze scenarios on where I myself could’ve done better.

I’m not perfect, and I know you all know that I’m not, but I do whatever I can in my ability to guarantee a job well done. There’s a method to my madness. I’ve realized that I have had the same reaction to different situations, from group projects to relationships. I first started off super optimistic, but then I would get stressed in the middle and then I would make a biased decision which lead to the end. For example, during my junior year I got paired up with people that I never worked with before. In the beginning I thought of it as a fresh start and have someone else lead the group for a change. Except no one wanted to lead and everybody wanted to do nothing. But since I wanted a grade for at least trying, I put my foot forward and started. And well since I did everything by myself, I was very bothered, so bothered that I cut them off and became a one (wo)man group. I made sure I got MY grade, and didn’t care for everyone else in that group.

But looking at it now, maybe they needed some extra push, like a lot. They didn’t want to do anything because they didn’t know anything. I got use to working with people that knew what to do. I didn’t have the patience for people that didn’t know. I want to slap my hand for that big no no. I can’t believe that I was so big on helping people out but I didn’t realize I left people behind. People are weird. We all learn different and see things different. My stubbornness blinded me and I’m embarrassed to admit. Since then, I’ve become more patient and open to different ideas from my own. Now I explain myself in so many ways to make sure everyone understands me and I ask for clarification when I don’t understand.

I feel like experiences like the one above has helped me in more areas other than just group projects. I’ve learned to communicate better on how I feel and expressing what I believe in. Ive also learned that there’s other people stubborn like me, some more or less. But I also have learned that not everybody is going to understand you regardless explaining yourself a billion times. And that’s okay. Be the bigger person and move along.

I’ve been getting better in controlling how I react in the past years. I make myself remain focus and calm to make sure I steer myself to the right direction. And if it turned out it wasn’t right, I tell myself that it’s okay, because I could always make a left when I needed to. I don’t know the answers to everything that I’m going to go through, but I’m learning as I go and that’s what matters. Thank you for reading, I appreciate (-:

Ciao! – Jenifer

I just got home from work and I felt like typing about a topic we talked about at work so here we go.

As you may know I am attending UH for college. As excited I am to begin, I always wonder what life would be like if I went with my first idea, to enlist into the military.

You see, this idea didn’t pop into my head until I started high school. I thought the military was just the army, I didn’t know the other branches existed. From there I started looking into the different branches and instantly fell in love with how the marines carried themselves. So I marked myself interested, but I never told anyone because I knew that they would’ve been negative about it.

I never got the courage to talk to a recruiter, instead I would watch YouTube videos on training, life in a day, living, and etc. I invested more time in looking up stuff for the marines instead of actual schools like UH or A&M lol.

The only real reason why I wanted to go to A&M was to not only get away but to be in the corps of cadets. I don’t know but it’s something about having a group uniformed and in line that has me interested in it. I love the way the discipline is shown off and how through hard work/ membership you go up the ranks. Although you could experience that in a regular job, I find it different when it’s the military. And with the corps of cadet I felt like that was the closest thing I could’ve come to that feeling.

A lot of things had pushed me to not go through with it. The first thing that led me to not go for it was leaving my family behind. I know I would have to do it eventually but when I brought it up to my mom just one time, I could see it in her eyes how much she didn’t want me to go. The other thing that was dragging me was that I didn’t want to start school in five years. I know it doesn’t make much sense, but I want my degree as quick as possible.

I would’ve loved to been in the marines. If I could handle serving, than I feel like I could take anything that comes my way. I would’ve loved to travel to new places. But I could do that while I’m in college. Well that’s enough of that. Thank you for taking your time to read dis (: means a lot ❤

Ciao!- Jenifer

Sometimes I think about the things I’ve done. How unfair I was to people. But then I remember the things they’ve done. Or the way I felt after they’ve done something. I would get bothered by so many things and instead of confronting them, I dealt with it. Until I couldn’t, and I would push people away when I felt enough was enough, (a.k.a. too late) From relationships, friendships to even family, I always found myself pushing people away when I felt hurt.

In all honestly, it’s really hard for me to get hurt. Personally, I know I can deal with a lot of things, but in the end, what good is it? Dealing with stuff that doesn’t benefit me at the end doesn’t add up in my book anymore. I know that sounded really selfish but it’s tiring having to deal with things that you just don’t want to be a part of.

In my past ‘ships, I dealt with conforming to what was the “best” we could do. But for most of the time, I knew we could’ve done better, and they knew too. We tended to overlook problems, even when we tried to “talk” things out. Don’t get me wrong, both ends tried, but not our best. We would never put a solution to things. It was always pointing out the problem, but never pointing out the solution. Which lead to eventually push them away or just falling off. But through it all, lessons were learned. And I’ve learned a lot. But it sucked because I learned from people that would no longer be present in my next chapters.

From my first best friend to my first kiss, I essentially lost people that were part of a beginning. Or who knows? But would I go back and change things? Absolutely not. Things happened for a reason. But do I wonder what would’ve happened if we had done “that” instead of “this”? It comes to my mind but I did what I did because I knew what was best for me, even when I felt like I didn’t.

Currently I feel at peace right now with what I have going for me. I’m not saying I have it all down, but honestly I feel great about what’s next. I’m re/building relationships with people I didn’t think I would. And with my little knowledge I feel okay to flip the page in my book.

Thank you to those I’ve crossed paths with in my life. Although our encounter together didn’t last long as we both had hoped, it was still an experience that we both learned from (: Well thank y’all for reading if you read it through, just skimmed or skipped to the bottom 🙂

Ciao! – Jenifer

I personally say that my childhood was a pretty interesting. I spent most of my time with my brother and mother. My dad would mostly work but don’t get it twisted, he was still there with us. Hennyways, I was an awkward little girl that didn’t know how to talk with people. All of my cousins were wayyyy older than me and my other two siblings were 10 years older. The only person that was my age was my brother Jordan, so I spent most of my time with him. Later on I joined a folklorico dance group where I met many friends and my awkwardness started to go away. But enough of that and onwards with some stories that I remember/ that I’ve been told about me (:

Infant Years

I really don’t have any stories to share other than ruining my pretty baby clothes because my nose would always bleed a ha ha ha.

Toddler Years

Alright this I have many. If you had ever noticed a scar on my right eye, it’s because I hit my head on a vanity, oops. I was jumping around on my parents’s bed while my mom was sitting on the edge, brushing her hair. She had dropped her brush and she bent down to get it. Coincidentally, I had jumped on my mom’s back to hug her from behind. But instead of hugging her, I took flight and did a head slam on her vanity lmao. My mom had planned to go out with my dad, but she stayed home instead because my eye wouldn’t stop bleeding all night long. So now I have a story that has a scar that goes with it lmao. Small things that I also remember is that Jordan would always run me over with his little car. I wanted a little car myself but one was enough for us but he would never let me use it. It was soooo unfair lmao.

Elementary Years

Ahhhh omg these were the years lmao. My mom would always make my school breaks super fun. She would take us to new places that she didn’t even know. I have so much respect for her and I’m so thankful for all she’s done for us. She didn’t know much English and for her to take us to places she didn’t even know makes me want to tear up. She put us first and was willing to do anything to see a smile on our faces. Small trips like to the kids museum or just to new parks were so fun. We would always go to the memorial park pool with the big slide and would pack lunch and eat under the trees. Just thinking about it reminds me how happy it was.

I didn’t go way into detail of my life because well that will simply take too long lmao. I’m working on other topics that were suggested to me on insta, thank you btw to those who suggested them, they’re all interesting to write about. Thank yall for reading (:

Ciao for now, – Jen

I’ve had this blog for a real long time but I would always shy away from posting stuff. I posted stuff here and there but I always ended up deleting it. But no sir, not this time. I am now doing a full commitment to this blog. Will I be posting daily? No. Will I be posting when a random thought comes to mind or when I want to talk about something? Absolutely. So without further due, here’s my blog.

A Quick Mid-Summer Recap.

Alright, oooookay. Now where to begin. Well for starters, I graduated exactly on June 1st, marking my “freedom” from high school. Don’t get me wrong, I still had bidness to do at school, but now I had less responsibilities that involved the name Waltrip. The day after graduation I had to go back to school to gather things for a band performance, but honestly I really enjoyed myself at the gig, it was a nice last “Hoo-rah”. Then, I finally got some “rest” for a day but quickly went back to normal for practice for our annual band trip. Days past by and we’re off to Orlando. Gosh, I’m going to miss those long annoying rides. The theme parks we’re pretty cool and I enjoyed each one of it. I got to ride most of the rides I wanted to and rode some rides that I didn’t expect to be cool. Shout out to whatever our group number was, I didn’t lose my mind at all. (Except for my one booboo at the jazz performance at Disney, but let’s not talk about that lol, oops.) All in all, it was one for the books, even with the little hiccups in between. The time now is about June 10th, now I could start my “adulting”. I planned for this summer to get my shitzzle together and redo my priorities. First on my list was self care, second my loved ones, and third everything else. I also started applying to jobs. The first job I applied to called me the day after applying and they asked if I could come the same day for an interview. Nervously, I said yes. I went to the interview and was a nervous wreck in the inside. I was torturing myself by running worst case scenarios in my head over and over again. But I snapped out of it as I realized, what’s the worst that could happen? Them telling me no? Tomorrow’s another day. Hennyways, I ended up doing very well in my interview and I got to admit, I have to give props to Mr. Espinosa because being side by side with him so much had me pick up his dialect when responding to tough questions. I got the job and was supppppper stoked because it was my first job. After, I went out with the ’19 drum majors and Mr.E out for a nice dinner at Riva’s. OMG when I tell you… that food was too good to be true. Shout out to Sarah for bringing us there. Few days later was my mom’s birthday and we celebrated at the Downtown Aquarium, and I got to admit, it was super fun, everyone had a great time. Then work training had begun. The online courses we’re a pain in the butt, but I got through it and completed the 6hr and 4hr course the same day. Ohhhhhh, and I also got my diploma that same day and I got my sixth Free Shipley Dozen Donut coupon for good grades (((((: . Then came my college orientation! I was excited but sad at the same time. Excited because I was going to learn about my school, but sad because I was going to learn about a school that I really didn’t want to go to. Senior year had me believing that I was going to Texas A&M. YA YEET. Fafsa didn’t come through and neither did those darn Aggies. Leaving me with the only option for loans. And I oop. Through heartaches and headaches, I danced with the idea of going to other colleges such as Sam Houston or Howard Payne heck maybe even the army, but neither supported me financially enough for me to go. I decided to go to UH because I could actually afford it. Without me living on campus sadly. HENNYWAYS, it’s orientation day! I went on a day with no Waltrip people going or which I thought. I knew two people but I didn’t really get to talk with them because we got separated by our groups. Honestly, I had so much fun and I actually fell in love with the campus and its environment. I felt so welcomed and accepted, I didn’t feel so upset anymore. But back to reality I went back home after my one night stay at the dorms. And so my on-the-job training began. My co-workers were and still so nice and welcoming to me. They taught me so many things in a matter of four days. I actually like my job. Then I finally started workingggg, but I had to miss a few parade rehearsals since I only had slim to no choice. Then the time now is JULY FOURTH. My gosh, time has gone so fast. I did my first parade as an alumni and my oh my. It was a lot more emotional than expected lmfao. I had a great time. Now this time was my last “Hoorah”. OH. I finally applied for a credit card and got approved on the first try as well, so I pat myself on my back for that. And well that’s my not so quick mid-summer recap. I’m sorry for this longgggg paragraph lmao. But thanks if you read it through, or if you just skimmed through it, or if you just scrolled to the end. Alright I think that’s enough for now. ciao for now, – Jenifer